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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?